I can remember the first time I decided I wanted to be a real writer. It isn’t at all embarrassing except for it is… I was about 10 and I had just finished the movie “Harriet The Spy.” It was one of the first times I watched something that I truly connected with. Which I just so happened to watch again after all these years with my ten year old niece. Cheesy though it was, my 10 year old self knew what it felt like to “want to see everything and want to know everything… ” like Harriet would say often to her Nanny Golly and friends. I too had MANY notebooks FILLED with dreams, stories, poems, songs, drawings, doodles, random words, definitions, scratch math problems, opinions…and many prayers. I was and still am a firm believer that if you write something down on paper it solidifies it. Which by definition means: to make or become hard or solid. make stronger; reinforce.
I wanted my thoughts to make sense and not feel all over the place. I figured if I wrote them out I could some how make sense of the world around me. Plus any time I have any kind of goal or a dream I always write them down. It’s literally magic. As if writing it down is the first step towards making it happen. I often look back on them as a reminder that they must be accomplished. I always feel amazing when I go back and see those they have been accomplished. Unless the desires change, and in that case I allow myself to evolve and move on from those certain goals or dream lists. However, I am not one to write down random things that I wish to accomplish if I don’t truly mean them.
Why waste my time or precious paper? But there were a few… Like my goal to be on Americas Next Top Model.
There was a brief season that I dreamed of being on that show. I guess it just seemed “cool.” Then I was asked to do a hair show for a friend of mine for a Whole Foods Benefit Fundraiser. It was a fun experience, but fun though it was, It didn’t feel like the right fit for me. I actually do not enjoy being the center of attention. Perhaps with good friends, but not with a bunch of strangers. Oh and I don’t really enjoy having my picture taken, at least not many. To my right is Cheyanne Clark. She is the Artistic Director for Cutting Loose Hair Salon in Sarasota Fl. At the time she had done an everyday wear style inspired by Betsy Johnson. I have absolutely no idea who the girl to my left is. But she looks great! And yep, there’s little Sarah in the Middle…Wow was I little. I was about 19 years old in this picture. About 10+ years ago. Even then I was filling notebooks like nobodies biz. It took me 10 years to put down the pen and start typing. How time flies.
Starting a Blog was always one of those things I wanted to do, but kept putting on the back burner. I don’t exactly know why. I have always been a busy bee. In college I drove an hour to USF in Tampa while living with my parents in Bradenton fl. I was taking 18+ credit hours, working as the Artistic Director for a Theater Company, a Barista at a french Cafe, and I worked at Anne Taylor Loft at the Ellenton Premium Outlets + Aldo shoes in Brandon for a Season. All part time obviously. Oh lawd, I was way too busy. I was literally driving around the bay each day. I would wake up around 6am, get to my first ballet class at 8am, get out of the rest of my classes around 5, teach until 8 in Temple Terrace, Lutz, or WestChase (All cities in Tampa) cross the Skyway bridge and pull back into my drive around 9pm. It was dark when I got in the car and dark when I got out of it. All somehow still managing to get straight A’s in all of my classes. All I can say is prayer works, and obviously loving what I was doing helped fuel me. If I were to have started my blog back then, I am sure it would have made for some interesting content. But it wasn’t the right timing. Instead, I used to just sit under the trees outside the theatre and dance building and write in my journal. It was an escape as well as a time to reflect.
To be honest, I believe right now is the absolute best time for me to be starting a blog. I am in an entirely different place right now, and I have gotten ALOT of healing from past junk and bad mind sets. Besides, you would NOT have wanted to read my random banter and complaints about my long school and work days. So here I am. After all these years. Married, 30 years old, two boys, and almost 50 pounds later… I, Sarah Alyssa Molinatto Clerval, am finally a blogger. Heck yeah I’ll admit I put it off. I started this in 2017 but didn’t really get started until this year 2019. I wanted my start to be organic. I wanted it to be fun. Something I decided to do and didn’t feel pressured to get done. After all I LOVE writing. When it started to feel like work, I stopped. I didn’t want to overwhelm myself feeling like I needed to be like all the other bloggers out there. I have glanced some pretty fancy Blogs and lovely though they are, they become a bit daunting. Nothing personal, I just can’t fully relate. I guess I never feel like I fit the part, and I like reading about peoples lives that feel relatable. I hope I can be that someone for you. Like we established earlier, I am not a model, I am def not living a Hollywood lifestyle. My house does not look like Chip and Joanna’s, and I’m not a make up guru/wear it every day gal. Maybe one day? To the bloggers who may match these descriptions, I salute you! I can praise y’all from this side of the screen. You’re gorgeous, and DUH I “heart” your dolled up pics and your impeccably cute children and home, but my life looks different. And that’s okay.
All in all I can be intense, but I am also VERY chill.
I believe this will be my Blogger magic. I am making a promise to myself and to you that I will be me and only me on here. I don’t want to copy, recreate, or imitate others to grab your attention or to feel worthy of it. If you’re here reading, that is good enough for me. I honestly don’t know what this will be in a year from now. Or even a month from now. I don’t even know my “Blog Goals.” But I pray that my writing inspires you to dream and believe that it is never too late to change, or to pursue the things you have always wanted to. Perhaps you never felt that you could. You can. I believe you can.
-SC
We Are Sojourners
We Are Sojourners 