I started this blog as a way to be creative. I enjoy writing and talking about life, and I felt if I was able to merge the two I’d be set. The thing is, I don’t know exactly what the “theme” of my blog is. I literally have drafts just sitting, waiting to be published. I just feel this page will feel even more scattered if I do. I’ve talked a lot about going vegan. In ways more than I wanted to. This isn’t meant to be a vegan blog, or a fitness blog, or a health blog of any sort. Yes, those things matter, but focusing on those specific topics were never my main goal. I guess those were some of the things I was focused on for the first half of the year. I guess. But those things do not define me. They aren’t me. Fully.
I tend to be all over the place when it comes to my thought process. I am detailed but I can also see the big picture. I over analyze, and I blame that on being created this way. It’s just what I enjoy doing. It’s why I was given a 100% in Shakespeare while attending University. I like dissecting words, themes, time periods, intentions, backgrounds, perspectives, and subtleties. It’s why I’ve read the bible in it’s entirety 3+ times. I have lost count which annoys me. I am currently reading the new testament through again. I have always focused on the Old Testament. I always analyze the past. In all things. Specifically within my own life, I rewind, replay moments, events, circumstances, intentions, and emotions. I graduated Magna Cum Laude with a Bachelores Degree in Theater Arts. My favorite class? Script Analysis. Go Figure.
This is actually a problem at times. I do not know how to switch this part of my mind off. I often wish I could. So in hopes to get on a specific track with my writing i’m just letting you know I quit. I quit trying to create a beautiful focused blog and let you know upfront that it is what it is. So today, it’s raining. IT’S FREAKING POURING. My oldest Malachi hasn’t been able to sleep for almost a week. Since the 4th of July. First it was all the booming fireworks, now it’s all the thunder from the rain. I shouldn’t say he hasn’t slept at all. Just very little. Therefore I have slept very little. I have been praying for peace and energy since I have been sleep depraved. Today has been the most peaceful so far.
I started out today with a large class of fuel. Water. Seriously a lot of my issues stem from lack of hydration. So I’ve been working to fill up as soon as I wake up. I then put on my Bible app and began to stretch and Meditate. The plan I am doing currently is called, “Being Prepared By God.” It talks about going through pain and how it shapes who we are called to be.
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
(Hebrews 12:11)
I spent some time in prayer and felt pretty refreshed. Refreshed though I felt, I have been walking through an interesting wild.
This past year as well as my entire life has felt like a large dose of discipline. I have been through ups and downs. Seasons of lack and plenty. Like the rain hitting against my window and the thunder rumbling in the north, I am safe in my home. Away from the wet. Yet my surrounding property including the stroller I left outside for the past week is drenched and disgusting. Apart from the stroller that I will need to eventually clean, this is a beautiful day for all that grows. It is the day the flowers, grass, and trees get to drink in that fuel of life.Water. I had to tell my little Malachi that when it rained depending on what time of day it was that the trees were having lunch. Last night they were having a midnight snack. This is perhaps the only way his 2 year old creative mind could understand the strange sounds outside his window.
The rain to the wind said, You push and I’ll pelt.’ They so smote the garden bed That the flowers actually knelt, And lay lodged–though not dead. I know how the flowers felt.
Robert Frost
I know how it feels to be waterlogged, trampled, and lodged. Not dead, just breathing. Here. But the water brings life. Just like the discipline. The flowers in my yard look a wreck right now. They are being given what they need to grow. Tomorrow or in a couple hours (cause this is Florida) the sun will come out and they will reach out their petals to dry once again. To grow stronger. To become what they were made to be.
I am ready to reach out my petals to dry, and I encourage you to do the same. You may have been hit with some rainy days, some thunder storms, or even a hurricane. However. you my friend are a flower. Or maybe you’re a tree that gives shelter to some flowers. Reach out your branches to dry. Lift up your hands with praise and thankfulness. You survived the storm. Let the sun dry your eyes.
With that said I can’t help but analyze. The Son. Jesus Christ, who he himself was thrown out and pulled through the mud. He who came low to show us how to thrive with a servants heart, died. Yet he rose.
Yet he ROSE.
Like a flower, With a crown of thorns, he died then he rose on the 3rd day. The number of completion, fulfillment. He blossomed. Every prophesy spoken and written from the Old Testament to the New now fulfilled due to one mans obedience and sacrifice. Saving the entire world from eternal judgment. Jew and Gentile. Young and Old. Asking us to only believe in our hearts, confess with our lips, and turn from our own wicked ways. To take up our own cross. To die to ourselves so that we can truly live. This is what I ponder on this rainy day. For it rained the day he hung on that tree. There was an earthquake, and the moon eclipsed the sun. The Temple curtain was split in two. Top to Bottom. Heaven Met Earth. By Mosaic law the Passover lambs were being slaughtered as Jesus him self became the Passover lamb for the entire world. His blood poured out. Sinless Spotless Sacrifice, so that the animals of God’s creation would no longer have to suffer and be killed to sanctify our human sins. Life for life was now to be done with. He paid the price, and he deserves every heart for which he paid for. I no longer want to see this story with eyes of sadness. But with deep gratitude I give thanks. He has set us free, I’ve received the holy spirit, and I this day choose to walk in the freedom he gives. No longer looking back at what was, but onward to what will be and who is to come. Until he returns again.
Choose this day who you will serve.
-We Are Sojourners, Made for More.
We Are Sojourners 