We’re still in the thick of it
So here we are. It’s been many years since I started this blog. Lots of ups and downs. Many different seasons. Yet, here we are. WOW. I think when I started this, I was in the thick of my dreaming days. I wanted so badly for things to change. I NEEDED SO BADLY FOR THINGS TO CHANGE! I knew it would take time. I knew it would be hard. I knew I would need to change some unhealthy patterns. My thinking needed to change; my spending needed to change. My entire lifestyle needed to CHANGE! I was in full caterpillar mode. I was trying so very hard to munch at any type of information I could get my hands on, so I could learn how to get out of my poverty mindset, pay off debt, and build wealth for our family. I had such an unhealthy view of money. I was in ways afraid of it. I didn’t know how to relate to those who had it. Yet, we desperately needed it. It made me bitter just thinking about it all. So, through all the different job titles, and opportunities, and season after season, it took some endings to have new beginnings. I don’t think I was ever planning to write out my process. Not fully. I’ve come to realize that less is more. Including information at times. However, sometimes we just need to relate to someone in order to feel it’s okay to feel, grow, and move forward. Temporary seasons tend to last forever for some, and they never grow up and out of them. I realized I was this type of person. I was hanging on to past Sarah like an old tree and grasping at my old fruit. Only to realize I wasn’t a very flourishing tree anymore. Even though I wanted to be, I had hit a wall.
Most of the time I am given next steps, answers, ideas while alone in nature. I pray. I listen, I work, and have an idea. A word. A thought, or a vision that I see happening in my mind’s eye. It is there I find the door. It is there I’m given the keys. One particular key was a scripture.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me. If anyone does not remain in Me, he is thrown aside like a branch and he withers. They gather them, throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you want, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be My disciples. John 15:5-8
He is the vine, and we are the branches. we need to stay connected.
Here’s the thing, I have huge trees in my yard covered in vines. I weekly go through my entire property and pick up the dead leaves and branches with my children. We place them on the trailer, and I ride them over to a huge fire pit we have in the back yard to be burned. At first when we moved onto our 2.5-acre property, I thought they looked beautiful. I still do, but a friend of mine pointed out that they were invasive and could kill the tree! I was like wait a second. I thought the vine was supposed to bring life!? I always read the scripture thinking it was good! Yet here these vines are killing the tree branches! They twist and turn, and the branches tend to die and fall. Here’s the thing though, if you stay connected to the vine you live, and you don’t completely die and fall off the tree. The branches that don’t stay connected, fall and die. You instead begin to abide with the vine. It lives and holds you in place as you become one with the vine and dependent upon it to live.
I needed to stay connected to the vine. On my own my dreams and visions for my life were pretty fruitless. I would have good experiences pursuing them, but they lacked substance, meaning, and true purpose. I had to really connect with a real vision. I needed to see things differently rather than just for me and my own gain and pleasure. I started to dream of how I could help other people. I knew that I wasn’t an anomaly. As much as we grow up thinking no one understands us, we tend to realize how similar we all are when we grow up and see that we all tend to crave the same things. Purpose, freedom, fulfillment, success, and of course, love. If you’ve gotten this far in I appreciate it. I tend to get off track with my writing and I’m working to stay more on course. My point is, I had to learn to dream again. I had to dream while connected to the vine. It is then that I am able to become fruitful, and multiply. On my own apart from the vine, I feel dehydrated, empty, frustrated, and to be honest hopeless. I am happy that all those years ago I stepped into a new season of childlike faith. We were able to pay off credit card debt, student loans, get rid of 90% of our belongings. Buy an RV, purchase a 2.5-acre property, start renovating a cottage in a forest, and start the homestead of our dreams. I don’t really know what the heck I am doing. But I am watching, and I’m listening. I am abiding and staying connected to the vine. One day at a time I am learning to step out of my comfort zone and Dream Again.
To Be Continued…
We Are Sojourners 